January 9, 2013

Conversations of Winter Break

Matthew's winter break is coming to a close, and this Monday, when law school fires back up on all cylinders, our lives will undoubtedly return to their usual state of loneliness, alienation, and despair.

Throughout the last month, I have recorded several of our more memorable conversations, if only so that I can read them later when I need reminding that my husband does, indeed, have a soul and even a sense of humor... when law school is not robbing him of all earthly pleasures and joys, that is. (just kidding, babe... you know I love you.)

Please enjoy the excerpts below, and Happy Wednesday!


Jenni: (folding a pair of old pj's) "Why do I keep these? I don't even like them and they are so old and gross. I'm throwing them away."

Matthew: "Don't throw them away! I'll put them in our end-of-the-world clothing reserve. You might love those one day."

* * * * *

Matthew: "What's up with all these creepy elf pictures people are putting on Facebook?"

Jenni: (explains the Elf on a Shelf phenomenon.)

Matthew: "We should get an elf and Barbie doll and post pictures of them banging."

* * * * *

Jenni: "You've been using lots of new big words since going to law school."

Matthew: "I do not believe that to be true."

Jenni: "Yesterday you said analogous."

Matthew: "That is erroneous!"

* * * * *

Jenni: "Did you know I've been recording* our conversations for use on a future blog post? Would you like to hear what I have so far?"

Matthew: "Yes I would. Especially since it's illegal to record my words without my consent. You are in violation of federal wire tapping laws, and I could punish you severely."

*note: I meant I have been recording them as in writing them down, not as in recording with sound.

* * * * *

Matthew: "Is there any chance you'll be entering the PMS stage while on our trip?"

Jenni: "No. And even if I was, I maintain that you have full control of the situation by how you treat me during that time."

Matthew: "That is ridiculous. Your PMS is not my problem."

(debate over the factuality of this statement ensues, Matthew maintaining that my PMS is not his problem and he shouldn't have to do anything different during this time; rather, I should control my emotions.)

Jenni: "I am unwavering in my position. I will experience a hormonal imbalance once per month for pretty much the rest of our lives, and the way you react to my initial testiness determines how far a potential issue will escalate. The ball is in your court."

Matthew: "You are like Obama. You can't be reasoned with."

* * * * *


Jenni: (returns Matthew's 52 page law school paper he asked her to read.) "Here you go, all finished. I'm going to go blow my brains out now."

Matthew: "Can you imagine having to write and read that stuff all day, every day, for every class?"

Jenni: "No, I can't. I would rather live forever in poverty than go to law school."

Matthew: "Yeah, there's a reason lawyers get paid so much. They deal with all the stuff that makes everyone else want to blow their brains out."

* * * * *

Jenni: (we refer to "Team MJ" occasionally to remind ourselves to play on the same team/build each other up) "You're not being very nice to me right now. What happened to Team MJ?"

Matthew: "Team MJ is no more. Team MJ is an expansion team in Paraguay."

* * * * *

And there you have it, folks. Just a small peek into the life and times of Jenni and Matthew. Hope one or two of these gave you a chuckle. :)



87 comments:

  1. Haha I love these! Especially the Elf on the Shelf and Barbie one!

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  2. I love this!! I'm totally with you on the PMS train. It's all about how the guy reacts!! I took a screenshot of that conversation and plan to use it soon :-) haha you should record more funny things to share! :-)

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  3. I am seriously dying over these Jenni, so funny! The PMS one is my favorite. I should have done this while Joel was on break.. dang I could have had some funny ones. Joel started back on the grind on monday...I swear this med school thing feels never ending! Enjoy y'alls last few days!!

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  4. Haha, the elf on the shelf/barbie comment is great. I have a friend who recently started law school as well and the words she uses are kind of crazy sometimes.
    xo, Maria

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  5. You two are adorable and hilarious. I fear that my conversations with my husband are a bit inappropriate for my blog. lol We have problems but we have them together so we don't mind :)

    My husband wasn't in law school but he traveled 5 days a week in his last job for a year and a half so I completely get loneliness, alienation and despair.
    Enjoy your time together!

    xoxohannah
    www.signedxoxohannah.com

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  6. The Obama quote just made my day :)

    My guy doesn't even mess with PMS. He knows better than to do anything but play video games or something equally as far away from me as possible!

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  7. They pretty much all made me laugh.
    I had to text my other half today to apologise for being a bitch and to inform him that my hormones will be returning to normal in the next day or two.
    Sucks being a woman..

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  8. oh my goodness- the barbie banging comment is SO something justin would say...

    and, as a philosophy undergrad, i can SO attest to the wanting to blow your brains out comments... main reason i didn't go to law school. i like my brain. (:

    so happy you did this, jenni- i know these moments will make you giggle and laugh with GLEE when he's busy jsut studying and doing lawyer type stuff (;

    and he hasn't he learned by now, your wife can never be reasoned with- she's just right- no reasoning necessary.

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  9. i have to disagree...I think obama is quite reasonable while john boehner is one that cannot be reasoned with ;) love this little peek at your lives.

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    1. Yes. Totally. PMSing women are much much much more Boehner than Obama.

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  10. Laughed SO hard!! aaah I love the PJ's one... The zombie apocolypse preparation is important indeed. The PMS thing sounds familiar - my husband insists I am a whole different monster person during that time. But really - it doesn't HAVE to be that way if he just was a little more aware and sensitive. Psh! Silly men. Thanks for the laughs lady! :)

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  11. Mr. RH says erroneous all the flipping time and it drives me nuts! Every time I make a silly comment he has to say its erroneous. He's lucky he hasn't been stabbed yet.

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  12. "I would rather live forever in poverty than go to law school." Sometimes I tell myself the exact same thing. Yet here I am, going to law school anyway. If your husband needs a law school break (which clearly I do, all the time), tell him to check out www.lawfullylost.com

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  13. kind of love his Obama comment. Hilarious.

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  14. "You are like Obama. You can't be reasoned with." This is all hilarious. I need to start doing this with my husband so we can look back and laugh and the ridiculous stuff we say.

    He also returns to school Monday and it is like a dark cloud over my head this week. Damn school for stealing our men.

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  15. Cuuuuute! The Elf on the Shelf comment is too funny.

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  16. Hahaha - oh this was good Jenni!

    Good luck as you enter the soul-sucking law school phase once more.

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  17. some of these are absolute classics--you are so funny :)

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  18. "Matthew: "We should get an elf and Barbie doll and post pictures of them banging.""

    Why do I feel like our guys would get along so well? Men...

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  19. So fun. :) I want to start recording little things that we say. How fun to look back on that!

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  20. Hilarious!

    http://purpleowlramblings.blogspot.co.uk

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  21. Team MJ...that's cute.

    Until I realized that if I made a team for us: Hunter and Amy, we'd be team HA. As in "HA, yeah right."

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  22. Those are great! I need to do this with the conversations my hubby and I have... It's good to remember the funny little nuggets.

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  23. Very funny and entertaining! Thanks for sharing. :)

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  24. The Obama one and the Big word one made me laugh! Too funny!

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  25. Um they ALL made me laugh. I love the Team MJ idea. We'd be Team DC. Which oddly enough Dave has already asked if we can solely be referred to by that since he is a mega nerd and thinks it would be tribute to DC Comics :)

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  26. Your hubby has a great sense of humor! I love the silly banter you guys have. The Obama and Team MJ are hilarious! Good luck to you guys as he heads back to school! :)

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  27. I knew I liked Matthew. That Obama comment...priceless.

    And the fact that you guys call yourself team MJ, makes me wanna hug you both. D and I have dubbed ourselves Team Coté since the day we married and I get crap for it all the time. Glad to know we're not the only ones that do that! Seriously though, my friends should just be glad we don't smush our names together and call ourselves Casvid. Or Davsey. Awful.

    Talk soon, Matthenni. ;)

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  28. You guys are adorable!! And Matthew really is so funny. I think another Matthew post is in order one of these days!

    You're awesome, too, don't get me wrong!! ;)

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  29. HAHAH the obama thing was amazing, and the PMS...dang that is a debate i have all of the time :)
    Loved the conversations!

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  30. I think I laughed at almost every conversation. I also love that you refer to yourselves as team MJ. Classic.

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  31. hilarious. i love how honest and blunt you are.

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  32. I loved this! I haven't read your blog in a long while but this was a great morning reading! You two are amazing!

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  33. Hilarious. My favorite was the Elf. Bahaha. And I hear you on the lonely part. My husband worked nights for a while--which meant he left around 11 and wasn't home until around 11. Sad I tell you. I'm happy for you that it isn't forever--and sure glad you stored up all these wonderful memories. Good thing you didn't actually record him. ;)

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  34. Ha!! I agree, PMS is a man's problem - how do they not understand they just have to be a little nicer once a month?!

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  35. favorites were the large words conversation and you being compared to the president :P

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  36. "I maintain that you have full control of the situation by how you treat me during that time." Totally stealing this, like today. I know the accusations are coming.

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  37. These are hilarious! Such a good idea to write down these silly conversations so you can remember them after the moment is over. favorite- elf & barbie, big law school words, the obama comment

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  38. The first three are my favorite. I love snipits of good conversation. Keep having fun :) ... ps. I agree on the PMS thing. (Sorry Matthew. But we agree on other things, like 'Smores. Remember that.)

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  39. I get so much joy out of the two of you. To this day I will never forget Matthew and his end-of-the-world stuff. Too funny. I adore you guys! :)

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  40. I just googled elf on a shelf and I am officially creeped out.

    PS: Matthew's suggestion about the elf came to life - http://articlesofabsurdity.com/2012/12/06/elf-on-the-shelf-amongst-other-things/elf-on-the-shelf-009/

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  41. Hahahahaha!!!! "You are like Obama..."
    That one cracks me up!!!
    Love this post idea. :)

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  42. Love this!

    I got a glimpse of the tv show PREPPERS last week and thought about Matthew´s end-of-the-world-pack. Do you guys watch the show? Those people are insane :)

    You should def record more of your conversations girl!

    xoxo

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  43. I loved reading that! You guys are adorable together. P.S. give me your hair secrets. You have the prettiest mane I have ever seen!

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  44. this is hilarious! I would love to be a fly on the wall in your place.

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  45. Hehehe, love this so much! I wish I remembered to write down some of our ridiculous conversations. This is just priceless.

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  46. This is so funny. He seems like such a normal guy. (I am convinced that most blogger husbands are not normal guys.) And you know what is so sad for me? One time a little while ago, my husband asked me, "What happened to my fun girl?" I responded, "She went to law school." Ugh. Law school can be soul sucking. But I don't mean to sound like a total geek, but it was the best three years of my college experience. (Minus my freshman year of college, which is in a whole different category of its own.) I just posted a picture on instagram from going out to lunch yesterday with my best law school girlfriends. Oh those were, and remain, good times. Good times are ahead for you, lady!

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  47. Love these! I especially love the PMS one, so true, and I'm on Team Jenni on that one!

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  48. Loved this!! You guys are too funny! :)

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  49. I loved this and my favorite bit was when you were like Obama and couldn't be reasoned with. LOL I literally laughed out loud or at least got a good chuckle in. You guys are so great!

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  50. Those are freakin' hilarious. I totally agree with you on the PMS!

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  51. Aww - I love this! You made my day on this particularly dark and damp day in West Texas! Not wishing it didn't rain, Good Lord knows we need it badly, but it is sort of dreary... Great napping weather! You are blessed by Matthew and he by you... Blessings!

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  52. Aww, team MJ, that is so cute :)
    Love what Matthew said about Barbie and the Elf on the shelf! That is funny.
    I read an article about random pictures people took with the Elf on the shelf, and it was funny, but since I didn't read the children's book, I didn't get the appeal of the actual 'Elf on the Shelf', but it was still funny to read.

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  53. Hahaha! Gotta love true, pure intimacy! The conversations I have with my husband sometimes should never be published, lol!

    www.wastingtimewisely.com

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  54. this made me laugh very much. Matthew is such a fun guy. go team MJ

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  55. Haha! I swear Matthew's comment about the pj's is sooo something my husband would say. You two are so cute :)

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  56. Love the law words one, I read tons of books published in the 20's and 30's and my husband is always saying they make me say out of date words!

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  57. This gave me a laugh - I always yell at my husband about how he's not on my team sometimes!

    The Blue Hour

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  58. i just sat at my desk laughing... thanks for that :)

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  59. I love the conversations!!!
    You are absolutely gorgeous, Jenni!!

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  60. You guys are great and I want to be the third person in your marriage, should you go down that road.

    Justin particularly enjoyed Matthew's Team MJ remark.

    And I enjoyed the law school remarks and everything you said is the reason that I quit law school! Wahoo!

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  61. These are the types of conversations that happen nearly daily in our home...I love this, cracked me up!

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  62. LOL! You two are just so cute!!! Love reading your blogs!

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  63. Hahaha...this is hilarious.
    You guys have such funny banter.

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  64. i love that matthew has an end-of-the-world reserve. zac has an ammo stash and reloading supplies. i just have my 72-hour emergency bag. what is in matthew's end-of-the-world reserve? also, what does he think of the show doomsday preppers?

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  65. Hahaha that is amazing!
    XO
    Eryka @ ABCDE
    abcdetheblog.blogspot.com

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  66. Haha these our conversations my husband and I would totally have, too!

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  67. Hahaha, these were great! I got a kick out of them all! You guys are a real team ;)

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  68. I love these. I have a notebook full of ridiculous things my husband and I say. Along with some funny quotes from the kids. And just funny things we did. Almost like a diary but not quite. When the kids turn 18 I plan on giving them a notebook full of the crazy things.

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  69. These are great. The one about Obama made me laugh out loud.

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  70. Haha I love the conversations...they are hilarious...I also think that my boyfriend is sort of in the same position you are, as in having a significant other that is working full time and doing an MBA and doesn't always have the capacity to have a sense of humor when both of these things drive her crazy...thankfully he has a great talent for making me laugh even when I'm particularly cranky, which I totally love about him. I also made him read a bit from my Strategic Financial Management textbook and his reaction was similar to your reaction to the law paper :)

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  71. Hahaha, you guys are great :) When my husband and I were dating, we joked about starting a FB page called "Shit my Boyfriend Says", spinning off of the
    "Shit Girls Say" YouTube vids. Man, we really should've done it...
    :)

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  72. Oh god, The Obama comment had me laughing my butt off.

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  73. Haha! The elf on the shelf one made me laugh!!

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  74. I love the law school one....I seriously edited most of Blake's writing into his first or second year as an associate! It's brutal!

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  75. You two are so stinking cute!! I was giggling while reading these!

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  76. Your conversations are hilarious and adorable! Especially when M gets all lawyerly. (is that even a real word?)

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  77. i love you two. elf and barbie banging is hilarious!

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  78. Too funny! My favourite is: "Team MJ is no more. Team MJ is an expansion team in Paraguay."

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