October 7, 2010

This is Texas, After All

It may be a little quiet around the ol' blog here this weekend.

Reason being, you ask? 

Well, dear readers, I am going to a place with **GASP!** no Internet.  A place where exotic wildlife outnumbers human beings fifty to one, where spiders are as big as your fist and centipedes as long as your arm, and where deranged, unprovoked bees burrow into the hair of poor, unsuspecting young females and sting them multiple times in the scalp as husbands frantically try to find something to "grab the bee with" so they don't have to touch it with their hands.   

That's a true story.  I defied the odds that day.  There were eight of us in an open vehicle all admiring a hive ten feet away, and a random bee made a "bee-line" (hahahahahahahahaha) for MY head.  Jerk.   

Anyway. The place I'm going is a ranch in South Texas.  My in-laws' ranch in South Texas, to be exact.  

For a little perspective, here is what greets you upon entry into the main house:


Don't worry.  I'm deeply offended, as well.

And here is what watches over you as you sleep:


Oh God! 

But in all honesty, despite the fact that I don't condone shooting animals for sport and trophies, it's ALWAYS a blast down at the ranch.   It's great to just ESCAPE for a while, you know?  To spend time with family, to be quiet, to see how nature does it.  To be reminded that, even in the animal kingdom (or, er, bug kingdom?  Is a bee a bug?), sometimes a little shit just comes your way and stings you for no reason.  It's life, you get over it. 

Though it IS nice to know that little bastard died immediately after insertion of stinger into said head.  Ultimately, Jenni wins.  Bee looses.

I'm mainly looking forward to the hours I'll spend exploring miles of dry river bed with my awesome mother in law, obsessively scouring the terrain for Indian arrowheads and oohing and aahing about the rocks and fossils we find.  Guys, it is the funniest thing.  We LOVE rocks.   My mother-in-law, Lynne, and I share an unparalleled passion for rocks or, as she calls them, "treasures."  But these aren't just any rocks, people.  We find crazy, amazing stuff out there.  If you knew how many rocks we have between us, you would probably be concerned.  Here we were on an arrowhead "dig" we went on together.  It was so incredibly fun and we found tons of arrowheads!!

 

Think that sounds crazy??  Feast your eyes on all the amazing stuff we found!!!


Anyway, I'm getting off topic here.  My point was just that I'll be out in po-dunk Texas Friday through Sunday with only an iPhone and iPad, which are slowish and don't read JavaScript and basically won't have time to be blogging because I'll be too busy getting stung by bees and scavenging for awesome rocks and eating s'mores by a fire while being ogled by scary mounted wildebeest heads. 

Don't pity me.  Just check back soon for a full report of the weekend. :)

J

11 comments:

  1. wow. seriously creepy. do you dream of being eaten by them? i would.

    ReplyDelete
  2. haha.. I love your outlook on it.. I kind of put up a fight with anything hunting with Buck. I've done everything with him once.. and that's been about it. ;)

    And I'm pretty sure I would take those heads down and store them in the closet before I went to sleep! haha... I'm tough like that.

    Hope you have fun- can't wait to see pictures!

    ReplyDelete
  3. o.m.g. They must have a taxidermist on speed dial like most people have a hairstylist. Have a great weekend at the ranch!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Have fun at the ranch!!! It's always a fun time with the in-laws....try to wear repellant and enjoy your weekend!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. OMG. I am so not a country girl! I love the country but idk if I could live out there! Those animals are freaky. AH! But a weekend away from Internet and "treasure" hunting sounds so wonderful. I hope the Bees stay away from you.

    Ps nice shirt...reppin' my hometown, Orlando! :P

    xoxo <333

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jenni that was really funny and made me laugh!! Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What an adventure! Have a great trip! Look forward to hearing all about it next week!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I was going to ooo and ahhh about the Mule Deer and some of the white tails and the kudu! BUT since you are offended lol...I have mixed feeling about the whole hunting thing -- but your in-laws have some REALLY nice mounts!
    It sounds like you will have an amazing weekend -- I'm so jealous btw!
    PS: I was all excited when I saw you sportin' the Orlando shirt...I had brief dreams of a martini get together haha =)

    ReplyDelete
  9. haha, love it. SO Texas! I lived in Dallas for a few years, and this just brings it all back!! Miss that place. Have fun in the country!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I also would be deeeply offended at all of the wild game heads mounted except I have a family that loves to hunt, too. They know my views on it and we agree that each one of has the right to do what we like so we don't ever discuss it. But I AM a card carrying PETA member and also a member of the ASPCA and give a lot of money to animal right-causes of all kinds! I'm not young any more but I've always felt this way even back growing up in Austin with my own father hunting deer and wild Antelope and such. I can merely smell of wild game cooking and have to run to puke, too! I HONESTLY can't stand the smell and won't eat any of it-no matter what. I'm 99.9% vegegarian anyway though so I would NEVER eat ANY wild game OF ANY KIND! Needless to say, I don't ever touch meat at any of our realatives homes! :) Not that stupid any more!! lol I once was and had to run to the sink too many times when I THOUGHT I was just getting a roast that wasn't wild game! I finally learned (I was only about 21 yrs old after all & had been married a year already! I didn't yet know EVERY member of hubby's dear family was gung-ho on hunting!)!! So when I saw alllllllll the troph heads your oh so handsome hubby has, I, too, was with you on the "discussion" about just how many to put up and I think you were WAY WAY more generous than I would have been. I would have not let ANY be put up! Period. Thankfully my hubby knows it upsets me to the point of almost being sick so although he hunts, we don't discuss it and he knows better than to ever bring home a trophy head!! lol That's one battle I DID win...out of going on now 43 yrs of blissfull marriage!! We've been together all these years and he finally got tired of hunting and took the camera as his weapon to "capture" game and we have some AWESOME and GORGEOUS pics of animals he never killed but he did capture on film which made both of us happy!! He's an excellent photographer!! So I am with you on the animal heads for sure!! BTW-I love your blog and LOVE hearing anything about Austin & I learned to ski on Lake Travis as my family had a summer home near Lakeway Inn that I now own and the property taxes alone make us want to sell it but we just LOVE going there-and so do our kids-so it will remain in the family forever I hope!! :)
    I don't have a blog but love to read them and am SO HAPPY I found yours! You are wise beyond your young years!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I really dislike hunting, but alas, I have been dealt the same fate as you.

    My 'brother-in-law' is a professional hunter and his house is also stuffed with stuffed animals. It makes me a tad sad, but I got used to it after a while.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for leaving your two cents! I read and appreciate every comment and respond when I can. Thanks for reading. :)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...